All By Yourself

Feeling alone in a room full of people really sucks. There is just no poetic way of summing up the feeling of loneliness that an anxiety disorder can produce in a person. I have literally been in a room with hundreds of people and have felt absolutely no connection to either them or the fun they seem to be having.

Is this really surprising though? As an anxious “what ifer” many of our thoughts are aimed inward and can be negative and also repeat incessantly.

When we get stuck in the quagmire that is anxious brooding all we can do is think about things related to our fears and concerns. But there is also the sense of isolation and victimization that takes hold. Anxiety can make you feel like nobody understands you or that they even care about your anxiety problem.

You  start to ask the obvious, like why me? Why now? When is it going to end? With all this going on in your head it’s rather difficult to have a good time doing anything. This is precisely why after a while you can begin to feel alone. This can also be compounded by the way many of us live our lives in general.

Nowadays it’s common to have family scattered all over the country, more and more electronic communication and a growing sense that you don’t really know your neighbors. This is all enough to make anyone feel isolated, but for an anxious person this can create a feeling of being all alone – disconnected.

Even when you are with family and friends it’s not unusual to feel apart from them and having those same people ask you if everything is o.k. over and over again.

The trick, if you want to call it that, to getting back into the mix is to re-engage. Feeling alone and bummed is normal under the circumstances however it’s what you do in response that will determine how alone you feel in the long run. Granted sometimes anxiety can get overwhelming and make you just want to run for the cover of blankets. But despite this feeling many times you can manage enough to not only stay out but also get back into the social fray.

I find that when I get real anxious I don’t like to talk, but listening comes much easier. So if you are this kind of person look for the person in the crowd or group that loves their own voice and have an instant conversation by asking an open ended question. And although it could be one sided, you’re still being social.

If you are the opposite and need to do the talking then find that person that you know will just listen. In both cases the key to combating loneliness is not just starting conversations but simply finding a way to reconnect with people.

It is much easier to turn down all invitations and roll yourself up into a ball. But ultimately this strategy will yield little when it comes to helping you manage your anxiety. Having this feeling of loneliness should also not scare you.

When you have an anxiety disorder everything seems to be about your problems, fears, worries, and apprehensions. You can overcome this by simply trying to re-engage the world. Go out of your way to see an old friend, go shopping/browsing, you need to talk to and see people face to face.

You need to make social connections as do all humans. Embracing the loneliness is just not a smart thing to do. It may take time but ultimately you have to realize that you are not alone, this feeling is normal and you can do something about it.

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