Being Optimistic doesn’t just mean forcing yourself to have positive thoughts. It means being hopeful and open to the future. It’s a mind set that can help you cope with anxiety.

If you’ve been pounded by the ravages of anxiety then chances are that you’ve had to contend with fear, depression, and pessimism. You may have had days were you just felt like giving up. You may have also told yourself that you just can’t take it anymore. Or am I just talking for myself?

Now, I also want to point out that there is a difference between happiness and optimism. It’s hard to be happy on queue because you can’t force happy. But you can be optimistic by choice.

To some extent, being optimistic means to think positively, but it also means more than that. It means being willing to “hug your problems.” Engage with whatever is stressing you out.

When your anxious the natural tendency is to be negative, closed, and worried. But this kind of thinking only reinforces all the terrible feelings you experience. It prolongs your misery.

“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” ~ Lucille Ball

Plus, research has shown that optimistic people have less chronic disease, live longer, and cope with stress better. This doesn’t mean that you have – or can – throw realism out the window. But you have options when it comes to dealing with your emotions.

The key is to realize that all problems are fleeting. Everything has an end. So, if your feeling nervous, depressed, and angry, then you have to know that this is temporary. Don’t soak yourself in the temporary emotional ruts that come to you because of anxiety.

Be hopeful instead. Hopeful that things will get better.

Let’s face it, for most of us depression is part of the “anxiety package.”

This is no surprise given all the emotional ups and downs that anxiety yanks from our souls.

I guess that’s just part of living an anxious life.

But, because anxiety and depression tend to come joined at the hip, it’s not something you can – or should – ignore.  Like anxiety, depression can affect your thinking, self-esteem, and of course your health.

So today, I want to give you five easy tips to help you break out of that melancholy mood that swallows you up every now and then.

So, with that said, let’s take a look at the list.

1. Get some sunshine. Do you get enough sunlight? Not getting enough is problematic since a lack of sunlight can release excessive amounts of a hormone called melatonin, which is known to kick start episodes of depression. In addition, you could also be missing out on other important elements, like vitamin D, for example.

Darkness just brings the worst out in some of us; that’s why more people suffer bouts of depression in the winter (seasonal affective disorder), so get outside for a walk, have lunch outside, or buy a Light Box. But, whatever you do, make sure you get some ray’s.

2. Get busy. If the economy is putting a cramp in your style don’t worry about it. You don’t need tons of money to be active. Read books, exercise, volunteer, or do something you love and get really good at it.

You should also set goals in your life and strive to achieve them. You don’t have to become a brain surgeon, but we all need something to look forward to. Goals help you to be upbeat about the future and shake off the pessimism of depression.

3. Relax. You need down time. It could be a 5 minute moment of silence in the morning after you wake up, relaxing music, jumping in the tub, whatever it is; you need to give yourself some time to reflect and be still.

4. Watch the menu. Make sure you eat a healthy diet. Eating fast food, and chugging down 2 liters will do wonders for your taste buds, but they also kill your sense of well being.

You also need to stay away from sugar, caffeine and alcohol. These things are also tasty but have a huge downside. In the end, they only aggravate depression so beware.

5. Get a life. You need to get a social life if you don’t have one. Be close to your loved ones, hang out with your friends, do things with other people.

When you talk to people pay attention and get tuned in… open up some and give out smiles and hugs with reckless abandon. I’ve been caught up in no man’s land lately myself. So I’ve resolved to reconnect with friends and strangers alike.  I realize that I’ve been too concerned with things that don’t matter. No one is perfect, I think we all do this, but we can always do something about it.

Remember that human beings are incredibly social creatures; we need to be connected with others or else depression, irritability, and anger can grab a hold and not let go.

Now, give those 5 tips a try and see if they can’t ease your depression. Obviously, you want to try these tips out in conjunction with whatever else your doing – including medications – to beat depression.

Just keep in mind that anxiety and depression are fierce and you need to be ready to throw the kitchen sink at them both.

The world of anxiety and depression will inevitably dish out a certain degree of confusion and chaos.  You will find promising roads and dead ends of all kind as you search for ways to relieve your anxiety and or depression.  This journey may frustrate you at times and the frustration can easily turn into irritability and anger.  Here are a few tips to help you deal with that emotional powder keg.

In order to get a handle on anger issues you first have to become more self-aware.  This of course doesn’t mean getting all meticulous about how you look, but rather being aware of your emotions so that you can exert more influence over them.  As anxiety sufferers we tend to let our emotions rule us and dominate our state of mind and reactions to the outside world. Putting a cap on this behavior by taking more responsibility for your own emotions will make  a world of difference and empower you to not let things boil over.  In other words, own your emotions.

Self-awareness also isn’t just about monitoring thoughts either, it’s more than that.  It also entails being mindful of anything involving speech or action.  Think about it for a moment.  Say you go around all day with jerky rapid movements, speak at a frenetic speed, exude impatience and so on – how are you going to feel? Probably pissed off and frustrated.  Therefore it would be advisable to walk and talk easy thereby diffusing much of the feelings that sometimes turn into nasty emotional fits.

Also, if you are more self-aware you’ll be less likely to act on impulse.  It is more likely that you’ll be ready and able to assess a situation more appropriately and show more self-control in approaching scenarios that normally set you off.  This all doesn’t mean that thought and action should be staged because honestly it can’t be.  So don’t be robotic either and unrealistically polite, just be open, be easy.

You can also employ meditation as a means of taming your inner tiger.  For decades Westerners have turned to Eastern modes of philosophy to tap into their spiritual side.  And whether you’re into the spirit world or not its well known that meditation will lead to less stress and create an atmosphere conducive to self exploration.  Less stress and self knowledge tend to translate into more self-control making it ideal for anger management.

The same benefits can also be had by practicing Yoga and or exercising in general.  The bottom-line is that you have to find ways to relax.  And although being anxious means that relaxation does not come easy you have to make the effort nonetheless.  Otherwise you run the risk of growing increasingly mad and irritated about the minutiae of life, which by the way we can’t control anyway.

My Anti-Anger list:

• Indulge in healthy past times that make you happy.
• Don’t let other people control how you feel about yourself.
• Stay far away from all forms of negativity.
• Don’t live in the future.
• Own your emotions.  That is to say that you have to be accountable for how you feel. Don’t blame  objects or people for how you feel inside.

Do all that and you’ll be angry a lot less.

Learning How to Relax

This month I have been looking into different ways to relax. Not just take-a-hot-bath relax (although I have been doing that too), but techniques that can have a significant effect on my anxiety. It’s important to reverse the effects that panic does to our bodies, specifically lowering our heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, and all the other things that are usually raised when our bodies are in the fight or flight mode.

By incorporating a daily practice of some form of relaxation, you can “produce a generalization of relaxation to the rest of your life.” -Edmund J. Bourne

Or in other words, you will be more relaxed all the time.So far I have focused on a few different techniques, specifically:

Abdominal Breathing – Taking deep breaths is one of the easiest and most effective ways to get into a deep state of relaxation quickly. The reason people use a paper bag when hyperventilating is because the lack of oxygen forces you to take deeper breaths. When you are in a state of panic, usually your breathing is very short and shallow.

Calming Music – Listening to relaxing music is one of the most time-honored ways of reducing worry and improving moods. I personally like to listen to piano music to help me feel calm and at peace. It’s important to choose music that is not too emotional or stimulating.

Yoga – Studies have shown that yoga has health benefits such as improving a person’s sense of well-being, helping to lower blood pressure, increasing flexibility, strength, breathing, less stress, and more. Yoga’s postures, controlled breathing and meditation may work together to help ease brains plagued by anxiety or depression, a new study shows.”- E.J. Mundell, HealingWell.com reporter

I plan to look into more meditation techniques as the month continues and incorporate them into my daily life. What relaxation techniques have you found to help you manage your anxiety?

The Reality of Anxiety

The wonderful thing about the modern age is that all of us generally have tons of information and services at the tips of our fingers.  In the United Stated for example we have access to all types of information at blazing speed, a ginormous health care apparatus, and a zillion options to handle almost anything ailing us.  And yet given all this, you will still have an anxiety relapse.

In other words you can know all there is to know about your condition, take meds, have access to world class widgets and all the rest of it and days, weeks or even years later anxiety can hit your grey matter as fast as the rotation of a pulsar (i.e., super fast).  You could have been feeling fine for a long time and may have even forgotten about your hellish experience with anxiety but can suddenly find yourself in the midst of a panic attack and start wondering … what the hell is going on?

In my experience most people that search for anxiety related issues on the internet are having an anxiety relapse after a lull in symptoms.  Or it could have been that their symptoms lessened in intensity but now have increased exponentially without any known cause.  So why does this happen?

Why? Why you? Why now? Let me ask you a question. Why does knowing the cause matter?  In my view this is a waste of energy and produces more stress.  You could chase your tail for decades and never know why.  Anxiety disorders generally occur because of a string of complex connections between your genes, your environment, your thought processes, your biases, false beliefs, assumptions, brain chemistry, and thinking errors.  So there you go, but chewing on these facts won’t help you cope.

Honestly, and you might hate me for saying it, anxiety disorder is generally a life long ailment.  You could be the lucky winner of a totally anxious free life, but chances are that you will end up like the majority of people with an anxiety disorder that don’t get that winning ticket.  This doesn’t mean however that you can’t cope effectively.  So let’s not get too grim about this whole thing.

The truth is that words like ‘coping’ and ‘management’ are much stronger than you think.  So although anxiety disorder does tend to be chronic, that is long term, you can make drastic improvements by learning how to manage your condition.  With proper treatment and effort on your part you can cope effectively so that anxiety does not rule your life.  If you’re able to cope effectively then you have not cured yourself, but it does mean that you’re able to live your life anxiety free most of the time.

Keeping the proper perspective and the appropriate level of expectation is the key to handling this situation.  You must understand that anxiety will raise its ugly head, assuming your anxiety disorder has been confirmed, again and again.  If you not only understand this but accept it as reality then you’re more likely to respond in a healthy way.  It’s a bitter pill to swallow but its true.

Also, in terms of dealing with anxiety relapses the game plan stays the same.  And in fact it would be beneficial to incorporate the things that help you cope with anxiety into your daily life.  So don’t just exercise, eat healthy, meditate, deep breath, see a therapist and use all the other tactics you implement just when you’re consumed with feelings of intense anxiety.  Think mitigation.

You have to make coping a part of your life, and when necessary, ramp up the intensity of your efforts to counter the effects of the recurring spikes of anxiety that you will have throughout your life.  I would say hey just keep the stress down and you’ll be alright, but that’s not a realistic approach.  After all if you’re alive you are, at least to some degree, stressed out about something or other almost always, just life.

My advice is that you should maintain your anti-anxiety regiment as I outlined above but also make sure that you don’t blow things out of proportion when a relapse occurs.  This is a huge problem with anxiety sufferers.  They tend to escalate things to their extreme with expeditious haste then find themselves in a pit of misery and uncertainty.  No need for all that.

Have a frank discussion with yourself one of these days, especially if you’re having an anxiety relapse right now.  Tell yourself that anxiety does not kill, anxiety will not make you go crazy, and the spike that you’re having will subside.  Challenge yourself to not give in to false beliefs created by your scared mind.

Ultimately having anxiety is … what’s the word, Arrghhh. That’s not a word but its a feeling I’m sure you get a lot.  Just frustration, anger, worry and fear, pure blah.  Again, despite this you have to stay focused on the reality that anxiety is a chronic condition that can be managed and will not cause heart attacks in and of themselves.

You can still be happy, but don’t get stuck and lost just because you encounter setbacks, it happens.  Don’t beat yourself up because this is not your fault, you’re not weak, your not dumb or crazy, simply anxious.

Some people have herpes (sorry kind of gross), others bad knees and so on, well you got ‘bad nerves’.  Don’t get sucked into any pity parties and be patient because you will bounce back.  Just remember what good ole Confucius once said “our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising everytime we fall”.