Did Your Parents Make You An Anxious Person?
This question is not as random as it seems. I posted a link to an article today that talks about the possible causes of anxiety and one of them was childhood upbringing.
So, did our parents cause this mess? Did our parent’s behavior, demeanor, or other character trait somehow create little anxious monsters?
Let me just say up front that I’m rather skeptical about this particular claim. Mainly because the parenting-anxiety link is believed to be related to either "over protective parents or uncaring parents". This seems a little too convenient don’t you think?
Not to say that our parents don’t mold us in some very serious ways, but if your childhood wasn’t just right anxiety is to follow?
I recall my childhood being rather average. With respect to this theory my parents were the "cold" type. My mom and dad never really hugged, kissed, or played with me very much but I always felt loved. Does that make sense?
I always knew that my parents loved their kids and sacrificed a great deal for them, so I never felt neglected or hated.
I suppose we should take a poll. Did you have emotionally indifferent parents or overprotective parents? Could this have anything to do with your anxiety?
In my view the whole blame the parents argument is weak at best, but I do understand why some researchers would try to make the link. My parents may have indeed contributed to my anxiety but only on a genetic level.
You know my dad never played ball with me, built things with me, or did anything else with me, but I don’t think he made me anxious.
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5 Responses to “Did Your Parents Make You An Anxious Person?”
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I think every anxiety case is different as is the individual with them. In my case, there is with out a doubt knowledge that my parent’s parenting style contributed to my anxiety. As an adult now the way they communicate, etc. sill contributes greatly to the anxiety.
One thing you did no mention was genetics. If parents do indeed have an anxiety disorder and say never realize it or admit, treat it, etc. then they are genetically passing it onto you- which is the case for me. My parents come from a time where they don’t even believe in such things, so how can they admit they have them themselves and thus have the gene that was passed to me?
I have yet to meet someone with anxiety who’s parents did not play a role in some way and no I’m not playing the blame game here- I’m just stating facts.
Kelly, I think you’re right. Genetics do play a huge role in how anxious a person might become.
But I was referring more to how parents behave and how that behavior may affect anxiety in children.
But again when it comes to anxiety we almost have to include genetics in the conversation.
Paul,
Yes I agree with parents behavior affecting children which is why I mentioned how my parent’s parenting style affected my anxiety in addition to the role of genetics. I think it’s usually a combo of the two.
My parents raised me on a healthy dose of threats and yelling. They have since mellowed out considerably.
But I remember very clearly my very first panic attack when I was in the 5th grade stemming from not finishing my homeowrk early enough and fearing the wrath of my parents.
I have only re-experienced this kind of anxiety recently and it also has much to do with work and fear.
Do you think there could be any correlation between the way I was brought up and my recent work anxiety?
Hey Gina, hope you’re doing good today. To answer your question I don’t necessarily think that your childhood built the kind of anxiety you feel at work. I think it’s more complicated than that.
Of course parents, work, friends, etc can stress us out and agitate or bring to the surface anxiety that is already present.
In this way I don’t think that parents and work create anxiety, but they can trigger it. Does that make sense?
Yelling and screaming at anyone can evoke stress and anxiety. But the kind of anxiety we feel, i.e., panic attacks and the like, is simply abnormal and is related to much more than our relationships with people.
Remember that people can make you feel lots of things, but never, and I mean never, let them affect how you feel about yourself.