If You're Selfish, You Can Change

by Paul Dooley

If You’re Selfish, You Can Change (podcast)

Now you may or may not be a selfish person at heart but the fact of the matter is that anxiety and depression can make you selfish or at the very least make you seem selfish to others. Do you spend a lot of time wrapped in your own thoughts? Are you consumed by the next possible anxiety related disaster? Then chances are that you’re struggling to get outside of yourself and maybe even having trouble in your personal relationships. However, even if this is the case you can make a change and not only preserve your relationships, but also improve your anxiety symptoms in the process.

This issue came up when I was contacted by a reader that wanted to know about selfishness and its affect on relationships. I immediately knew that this would be a great topic of discussion because it effects so many of us on a daily basis. Below you’ll find the show notes, an mp3 player, and a download link. So sit back, relax and ponder some of the issues that are raised so you can comment and add a wider perspective and by extension help others understand what they need to do to be less selfish, less anxious, and happy.

The Cause of Selfishness

Born from constant introspection.
Related to internal struggle with anxiety and or depression.
Anxiety and Depression tend to consume the individual making it more likely that the outside world will be shut out.
Selfishness can arise because of a deep seeded need to maintain control and monitor the self to avoid danger, unpleasant feelings or thoughts.
Selfishness generally not the goal for anxious people but more the outcome of a process. Its more about self concern than it is the pursuit of self interest.

Problems That Selfishness Can Cause In Relationships

Causes distance between you and those you love.
Your self concern and your problems are sometimes seen as baseless self-centeredness.
Anxiety and Depression cause fatigue, fear and worry which all contribute to feelings of isolation, a reluctance to enjoy life and the company of others.
Loved ones can grow frustrated since they want to help but don’t know how.

Solutions

Practice compassion.
Get outside of yourself and literally get outside as well.
Communicate positively by being open and not making everything about you or your own problems. But also don’t be afraid to say what kind of support you need.
Live in the present. Future thinking and regrets about the past are counterproductive. Make time for loved ones.
Make an effort to be with those you love in meaningful ways.

Side note: If you have questions or topics you would like to have discussed on Anxietyguru.net send me an email at info@anxietyguru.net.

Music by: Thundas Ink – “Bad Weather”