It’s About You

survey questionThis site stopped being about me a long time ago. That’s how I like it.

It’s always been far more important to me to reach out to you and share what I know.

The hope has always been to write something or produce a podcast that spoke to you on some basic, but relevent level.

But all good intentions aside, sometimes I guess as to what you want. Honestly, I don’t know what that is.

I’ve been in your shoes, so I have some idea. I know that you want to know about chest pain, or some other anxiety symptom. I know that you want to get  quick reminders that you’re going to be OK sometimes.

But you are unique. I want to know what YOU want.

When you come to AG what are you looking for?

What kind of information do you need? How do you want it presented? What will help you?

It matters because you matter to me. I don’t care about creating generic content. I want to publish work that makes a positive change in your life, no matter how slight that is.

I’ve poured my heart and soul into this site. I have. Now I need your help. Why?

Well, because I want to continue to get better at what I do. So please take 2 minutes and tell me what you’re thinking in the comments section below.

Thank you.

Paul

 

Comments

  1. says

    I hope in the future you do go back to talking about your anxiety and how it effects your work. There i sno better blog than one who talk about struggle and hope. Selling all the time can get stale.

  2. says

    I would like to see you address anxiety in connection with other conditions (ADHD, autism/Asperger’s, OCD, PTSD, etc.), since anxiety is often a major factor in those. Also, do you know anything about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy? I’ve heard it’s very helpful in dealing with anxiety. And I love the podcasts–keep them coming!

  3. William says

    I agree with Brian; talking about your past troubles and triumphs with anxiety helps. Not all the time of course, but occasionally.

    Also, I for one would love to see more on the connection between feeling tired/bogged down and anxiety. Such as how it has affected you, what you can do to overcome it, etc. It seems to be (among other things) one of the most persistent issues I face.

  4. says

    @ Brian and William. So glad I asked this question. I would have continued to assume that people would not want to read about my past struggles. But I do see the value in talking about that. Appreciate the feedback.

  5. Mitchell says

    Since you asked… You’ve mentioned a couple of times that you no longer struggle with anxiety (forgive me if I’m remembering incorrectly), and this comment stuck with me because I can imagine anxiety getting a little better through sites like AG, but not any kind of cure. My anxiety seems hardwired in and miraculously resistant to insight, understanding, experience, etc. So I’d be interested to hear you zoom in on the period of time when your symptoms abated, and what kinds of things you credit that to–specific strategies or life situation, etc. Thanks.

  6. Missy says

    I am amazed that every time I read the comment section, it’s always men commenting. So, I guess men do talk, LOL. It’s nice to have a non-threatening place to go and ask questions. Anyhow, I would appreciate some insight into the differences of how anxiety is experienced/treated in men and women. I will feel great one day and then on another, I feel like I’m being pulled back “in.” I know, Paul, you’re a man, so it may be difficult to speak for a woman, but perhaps you know some women that have shared with you their struggles with anxiety. I know the Lord has helped me immensely, but I bring myself down with constant doubt…I need to change my way of thinking.

  7. Sylvia says

    What am I looking for? I’d like to say a quick fix, I do know there is no such thing…but it is a nice thought. What I’ve learned over the years, is that for me, anxiety is a learned response, a response that is a normal reaction yet mine is short circuited. Probably at some point my brain did whatever it does to protect me at the time and it was never corrected, because I didn’t know it needed corrected and I didn’t know how to correct it. I’m still learning how to correct it. Over the years, I’ve spent tons of money out of pocket trying to fix anxiety. The counselors were good in that they taught me different ways to see what occurred in my childhood and with time, those issues have been put to rest. The anxiety remained. I’ve never taken meds, they are not for me. I want to learn to correct the problem not put a band-aid on it. Most days I can face my anxiety and fears. I had thought I had accepted what it is, and am wondering if I have really accepted it? How do I know? I was very close to being house bound, I am able to get out now most days and drive, still have major issues crossing bridges and overpasses. Freeways are out for now. I have read books that you and others have talked about, I have made heart felt efforts to utilize what I’ve learned. I am better now than I was at this time last year. There is progress, just not as fast as I’d like. Hearing how others deal with anxiety/panic helps. Life happens even when you’re in the grips of panic. I know what it is and have a good hand on the signs and symptoms. I understand the various ways and theories of dealing with anxiety. Again, it seems my conscious and unconscious are still not in sync.

  8. Kimmie says

    Hi Paul,

    I know that medication is not for you or for some others, but in my case it was the missing piece. I have spent hours and hours pouring over information for years, have done counseling for the last year and a half, relaxation and meditation, which all helped tremendously, but I still had anxiety. While talking to some relatives at a family reunion, I realized that a great deal of my immediate and extended family had either terrible anxiety, claustrophobia, panic attacks, etc, and these were otherwise very happy people. It was when I saw this thread in my family that I decided to try medication. I could never understand why an antidepressant would be prescribed for anxiety. I mean I’m nervous. I’m not depressed, but I’m so glad I tried it, because it has changed my life. It was kind of a last resort, but for me it has worked.

    I want to stress that without the talk therapy and also learning relaxation and meditation techniques, I don’t think the meds would have worked. The other thing that’s been a tremendous help is sites like yours and people who truly understand what anxiety is all about.

    I don’t know if you even want to talk about meds, because I know that’s not your way, but maybe for some people it could help them get their life back.

    Thanks for your site, your kindness, and your generosity!

    Sincerely,
    Kimmie

  9. Kenneth says

    Understanding, compassion, and solutions. I love reading how you have struggled and over come your issues. It is comforting to have you listen to us (like this post). Also, I think we all want solutions and encouragement. Emails and updates about “cures” or lifestyle changes that helped you and others. I know I need faith and time to help me the most. It is tough to not find the magical pill, but we all know that this will take time although we don’t invest it. Reminders….daily? (I eagerly open your emails when I get them). I also know that exercise will help, but I am not consistent enough. I have heard that Vitamin B helps, but how many times do we try something once, maybe twice and then just give up since it doesn’t work. Stress did not come one day all the sudden….it built itself up. Hence, it makes sense that we need to take time to tear it down! Strength and reassurance is what I need.

  10. Mariann says

    I also would like to hear about your past struggles, but also focus on specific situations. Perhaps PTSD one session, AG the next, resiliency the next etc.,and incorporate it with helpful tools to help us deal with these. For me,I am grieving from the sudden death of my husband, am unemployed, and trying to sell the house, all at the same time and within three months of his passing. These are major life changing events, a total upheaval of my life and am walking through uncharted territory. I would love to have some insight on how your struggles could relate, I am sure there are others who have/are experiencing a death of a close friend or loved one. It is helpful to hear examples of how you overcame anxiety, but also how the struggles could relate our own situations.

  11. Sue M. says

    I have always enjoyed your podcasts, so I hope you keep them coming. When I have an anxious day and need a bit of reassurance, I take my little iPod and listen to one of your podcasts – often it doesn’t matter which one – just hearing your voice and listening to your information and experience will help me relax and think things through more clearly.
    I would also like to hear about your issues with anxiety and the day you realized when you were winning the battle. I try many different things; relaxation, meditation, vitamins, etc., but I must admit I grow impatient with myself and give up too easily before any of these things could really take hold. I guess it’s because I struggle with fibromyalgia – since it seems to have a life of its own with random symptoms, I feel nothing works on it, nor will it work on my anxiety. I shouldn’t give up so easily, but it’s hard not to lose hope.
    I wish I could figure out where all of my anxiety came from, but I guess the point is to work on getting rid of it instead of ruminating about the past. I really appreciate all of the hard work you do and the research and information you bring to this website. I believe that myself and many others gain insight and a sense of relief just knowing there are others out there who are going through or have been where we are.
    Keep up the good work, and please keep sharing what you are learning in graduate school with us, and thanks again for devoting the time to helping all of us!

  12. Brad says

    To Sylvia. Give the medications a try. Once you feel better for a while, your fears and anxiety will fade and you can then taper off the meds. I would be in an institution if it weren’t for xanax.

  13. Stacey says

    Paul,

    I love your site and your podcast, updates, etc. everytime i see a new update im like “yesss”

    You pretty much nailed it on the head when you said people need reminders that theyre going to be ok. I guess thats what i would like more of. How to cope with anxiety on a daily basis. I try to live my life as i had before anxiety but it gets soo hard sometimes just doing the simplest of tasks (work, driving, etc) why am i so scared of completing these everyday tasks and how do i overcome that?
    Also id like to hear more about hypochondia and anxiety since i always believe im about to fall over and die. ( sounds funny but its actually horrifying)
    There really isnt one subject youve talked about that i havent related to, so please just keep doing what youre doing. It helps way more people than you think!!

  14. Cheryl says

    I’d like to hear a bit more about how to handle when anxiety creeps back up after you’re feeling good for quite a while. What it means (or doesn’t), how to best cope with it (besides just putting up with it), and even though everyone is different, a basic timeline on the reduction and elimination of inappropriate anxiety. Thanks Paul!

  15. Sylvia gibson says

    Mariann. I lost my husband suddenly 15 yrs ago, lost my job when I confronted the administrater after my paycheck was shorted 3 times, had two paychecks bounce. I fought the VA for benefits- took 3.5 yrs. I lost my house 2 yrs after I lost my husband. It has been an emotional roller coaster. I lost my mom 5 yrs ago. It’s difficult to grieve when you are trying to survive. How do you do it? You take one step at a time, in the beginning it feels like for every step forward you fall back at least two. You pick the battles that are important to you Greiving takes a lot Of energy Hopefully you have a good support system. And you remember to take care of you, eat and do something physical if able. Everyone grieves in their own way. I believe feeling your feelings, alone or with someone, helps you to begin healing. Suppressing the emotions means they’ll only come out in the future.

  16. says

    HA! I love you guys.

    Everytime I ask for feedback you guys come through.

    I’ll make sure to note all your suggestions and create content that mirrors what you’re all looking for.

    Thanks everyone.

  17. Ani says

    Hi Paul,

    I just love reading your posts and writings,I’ve even printed out some. They’re really helpful.I’d like to hear everything about anxiety,especially about physical symptoms(tight throat,weird sensations…)and your personal experience and success,but if’ll be more specific on steps how to overcome and win over anxiety would be much appreciated.(what I mean is like how exactly did you do it..step by step…what concrete actions did you take..ect..)
    Thanks a lot! you’re tremendous help.
    God Bless You

  18. allmyty says

    being an 34 year old man i suffered alot in my young life but nothing compares to the physical and mental symptoms from anxiety it affects your whols life relationships etc. so im glad to see these comments and knowledfge on here it just feels so good that im not doing it alone thank u paul

  19. Jowade says

    Hi, Paul

    I absolutely love your podcasts they have helped me so much, and I really hope that you continue to do them–because they are very encouraging. I also would like to ask if you would consider doing a podcast on (the fear of getting older in life) and the terrible anxiety that comes with it. I would appreciate it very much. God Bless You!

  20. Josue says

    Hey Paul,
    I just wanted to say THANK YOU for what you do. It does not go unnoticed and is truly appreciated. I have struggled with anxiety (GAD)for about 10 years and no one really seems to understand. Your podcasts have been a big blessing in my life and are truly appreciated. I listen to them when I am in the car and while working out. Your experience with anxiety and how you have been able to overcome and live NORMALLY (what does that feel like?) again are really helping me get some order in my life once again. Hearing your testimonials as to how you dealt with the symptoms and how you have coped have given me the encouragement I need to move forward and fight this battle. Please continue to speak about your experiences and the sensations, feelings, struggles that you have had to deal with. A lot of times just hearing you speak on the podcasts about what exact situation you went through enable me to see that I too can get better. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU DO! Your reward may not happen while on earth but you sure are earning some points for the afterlife. Be encouraged and know that you ARE making a difference in the lives of many.

  21. Sookie says

    First, thank you so much for all the info Paul. It truely has been such a roller coaster journey with anxiety. I’m not on meds and would like to continue that way. I’m Dealing with the whole not being able to swallow feeling now. I guess what I’d really like to know is…How does one find the confidence to move to things they used to do? For example, since my panic/ and axiety I don’t drink anything other than water or decaffinated coffee. I’d like to drink, tea, diet soda, juice, or something else. I really miss the iced coffee at McDonalds, but never get one. So, how do I go back to enjoying those things without a “negative thought,” lingering in the back of my mind. Thanks for all your feedback.

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