The Anxiety Gaze
I have heard veterans say that they can pick out other veterans of armed conflict because of their thousand yard stare . It is a deep stare or gaze that is not focused on any particular thing. But its born from the trauma and severe mental stress of combat. Having an anxiety disorder is nowhere near like experiencing combat, its not even the same sport, but anxiety can cause you to stare blankly without any thought or purpose.
It happens to me a lot at work or even when people are talking to me. I get this glazed look in my eyes (I’ve been told) and I don’t seem to hear anyone. It is an empty feeling of staring off into nothingness. When this happens I mentally check out and there is seemingly no brain activity until I catch myself doing it and return to earth. It doesn’t happen that frequently but when it does I get a series of them in short amount of time.
Every now and then it makes me somewhat upset because it distracts me from whatever I’m doing. After all when its happening there is nothing happening. I can’t reconnect with the world for several seconds at a time. I never really thought of my anxiety gaze as a symptom but I’m certain that it’s related to my high levels of stress.
I believe that its because of the mild to moderate trauma of constant worry and anxiety on our nervous system. Its a tired mind trying to slog its way through all the anxiety clad and convoluted thought patterns. It is difficult to say with certainty but that is my theory on this particular issue. Or perhaps this is specific to only a few and there are not many out there with the same occurrence of blank staring. Do you stare off into nothing on a regular basis? What do you think is behind your anxiety gaze?
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The gaze is related to anxiety. When you get anxious, you pump out adrenaline, you breath faster, your muscles tense, you sweat to cool yourself down and certain senses are heightened some minor bodily functions may stop working to conserve energy. In my case my hearing becomes extremely sensitive and my eyes seem to loose a bit of focus and stare into oblivion. I have the same problem, I asked my psychiatrist about it and she told me what it was.
I think I may have only experienced this once. I say “I think” because it only happened once and it may or may not be what you are talking about.
It was my first ever anxiety attack. I was 12, in P.E. playing dodgeball and I suddenly woke up standing next to a wall while everybody was still playing dodgeball. I woke up not remembering what happened at all. In fact, the last image I remember before waking up was a thought of a cat in a big grey or black space chasing an orange ball and I remember interpreting that thought as the beginning of life. Anyway, I woke up and was scared out of my life. I couldn’t (and still can’t) remember what happened before that, IDK how long I was in that state for, and am still amazed at how I was not eliminated from the dodgeball game (lol). I was also surprised nobody noticed. I guess that was my first, and hopefully only, “anxiety gaze.” It was 7 years ago.
I think of this phenomenon as meditation, a way of stepping back from the anxiety and gaining some relief.
that happens to me ALOT. usually in class i would just cut off and wouldnt blink i just stared and i wouldnt be THERE. and when i realised i was doing it id try to snap back to being focused but usually its hard and before then the teacher yells at me
OMG, I am so releaved to hear the what I have been experiencing for YEARS is my anxiety and panic disorder and not something worse. My anxiety started at the age 4 due to a traumatic event and has taken over my whole life. Kept me from being a good student and being able to attend college. My mind would go blank so many times in class that it was hard for me to follow along. Finally I got diagnosed with GAD, Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder at the age of 25. I am now 44 and under so much pressure and stress that my syptoms are back. My forgetfulness is making my husband angry with me. He just is not understanding or compassionate to my illness. This makes it worse because the harder I try to remember the more I forget day to day conversations with him or things around the house. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories, it made me realize I am okay and that I need to just let it go.
Kimber