I have some good news and I have some bad news. Let me tell you what happened.
Yesterday I burst through my front door, put away all the random things I carry during the day, washed up and served myself a little plate of pasta.
I grabbed my plate and walked over to my computer to check some emails, check a few websites I frequent, the usual.
I just finished slurping up the last of my pasta when the phone rang.
It turned out to be my wife, who I chatted with for a few minutes when I noticed that one of my sisters was calling on the other line.
I couldn’t click over because my wife was still talking and as she continued to talk my other sister also called only seconds later.
My wife soon hung up and so I was able to pick up the other line and almost immediately I knew something was up. In fact, when I got those back to back calls from both my sisters I thought, “Oh no.”
My sister spoke in a low, weak voice and she said, “grandpa died today.” I was shocked. I mumbled a few things and hung up. I thought, “damn it, not again.”
I lost my paternal grandfather in 1994, my father in 2002, and my maternal grandfather yesterday.
I am, at this moment, filled with grief. And I’m not writing this to receive any sympathy or anything for that matter. I just want to say this:
Life is short. There isn’t any time to waste. Anxiety is stopping you from seeing and experiencing the full beauty of life and yourself.
You won’t fulfill whatever thing or things you hope for, and enjoy them, until you deal with this problem squarely.
No one, young or old, is promised another day, but I think that most of us act as if life will continue without a hitch because we don’t want to imagine the end.
We also get consumed by work, school, petty problems, hatreds, self-pity and all the rest of it. But I urge you to not fall victim to this kind of complacency.
Thing is, we all know we die, but few of us act like we know that.
It could be that you’ve tried to correct your anxiety problem and failed, and I’ll be honest, it took me nearly 10 years, a decade, to get this right, but it’s one of the best things you’ll ever do.
I’m not saying that it will take you as long as I took to get better, but you bet that this isn’t getting solved over night. That’s why it’s important to not wait anymore. Don’t wait for a better time, a different season, a new situation. The time is now.
Today is the day that you should decide to get better, so you can enjoy your life. Enjoy your family. Be who you want to be.
The good news is that you have what it takes to get the job done. We all do.
Don’t wait anymore.
hugs to you paul, i could not agree more with everything you wrote.
Sorry to hear of your loss. (((hugs)))
Paul, I am so sorry for your loss. Your so right, our time is so limited. Thank you for giving us such a great reminder to start enjoying our lives. Big hugs to you and your family.
Sorry for your lost Paul…..and.thank you for this awesome post. Truly needed it. Thank you for being an inspiration. It is much appreciated.
Paul..first I want to send you and yours my condolence at this time and I wish you and all those affected by your grandfather’s passing the best in the coming days, weeks and months.
You are right though… there is no time to wait. All you have is now. Those suffering from anxiety need to understand that there is a way out of it.. and that life can be full of joy, love, empowerment and beautiful instead of filled with worry, doubt, and fear.
I was at the hospital tonight, visiting with my grandmother who is seeking treatment, and while I was sitting in her room I looked around and saw two other elderly ladies in their late 80s… I couldn’t help but wonder what they were thinking. It made me think about how I would want to remember my own life when the this time comes for me too… did I want to lie in bed thinking about all the fear that paralyzed me from doing things… or did I want to look back and see all the great things I was able to do by pushing through fear and loving.
This is a question we will all have to face one day… and I propose we do our best to live our lives to the fullest every moment. Spending our time adding value to others in some way… a smile here or a helping hand there… it all counts.
Again… my heart is with you and your family during this time. I wish you the best in the coming days and weeks.
J
Hi Everyone, thank you all for your kind sentiments. I sincerely appreciate every single comment on this page. My family and I are doing well.
Paul, I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your family during this sad time.
Hopefully he didn’t suffer. Condolences to everyone.
Paul,
My deepest sympathies. I know this is hard, but I know you’ll deal with it as well as it can be dealt with, and you’ll find peace. Thanks for all you do, and for being a great friend. Hang in there.
Oh, and your advice about acting NOW is excellent. I’m sorry about the context of the advice, but it really is a crucial point. Thanks.
Condolences to you and your family