When you’re faced with relapse or persistent anxiety part of you might feel defeated. Like no matter what you do you just can’t seem to get the upper hand against your anxiety. I certainly felt that way when I had a few good days in a row followed by a return of anxious thoughts or symptoms. In my view, it is okay to acknowledge how you feel in those dark, lonely moments. Yet, it can be dangerous to linger too long on those kinds of negative thoughts. Dangerous in that anxiety tends to build on itself and the more you stand still and ponder how angry or frustrated you are the more likely you are to feed your existing anxiety and add to the current crisis. So what should you do when you feel this way?
Over the past few weeks I’ve talked about the importance of adopting the right attitude. The kind of perspective that will propel you forward and insulate you from feeling like there’s nothing more you can do. I tried to address this issue at the end of last week’s podcast, but honestly I feel like I gave a somewhat vague answer. I encouraged you to “push through” hard times. I believe in this powerful bit of advice, but I thought it would be a good idea to provide you with more details.
So in some respects this episode is an extension of last week’s podcast. The big difference is that I really tried to tease out how someone can foster a new, perhaps tougher, attitude toward a long standing problem with anxiety.
So, listen now.
In this episode of The Anxiety Guru Show you’ll hear about:
- What Claire Weekes thinks about your chances of recovery
- What Grit is and how it can help you meet your goals
- A perfect example of what mental toughness looks like
- Responses to recent emails
To listen, you can click the play button below or visit the AG iTunes page.
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Claire Weekes is the cornerstone of my recovery. I have had anxiety on and off for most of my life. Every time it strikes, its like lightning coming out of sky. However, no matter how ugly the symptoms got, and many of them were overwhelming, I used one main strategy to keep balanced- Float with it. We need to float with the anxious feelings and even thoughts. Our bodies know what to do to reach equilibrium again but we hinder it by tensing up and fighting against the adrenaline. I picture floating in the anxiety like someone wading chest deep in the ocean. You must allow the waves of adrenaline and all of the symptoms to splash, move, gurgle, swirl around you without you running to shore. IT IS HARD and SCARY and I’m still trying to do just that but it gets easier with practice and full acceptance week by week. You have convince your anxious mind that the symptoms you feel are not dangerous just very very uncomfortable. Yesterday for example, I went out with my wife and child and felt incredibly anxious and spacey. However I decided to stick with the feelings and give the adrenaline its space and after about an hour or two, the symptoms subsided almost completely. I was able to enjoy seeing the Broncos get beat down by the Chiefs on tv while feeding my son some mac and cheese. I felt empowered. It reminded that I can get through this. Its important to take note of the victories we have and pull them out whenever we are attacked by the worry demons in our head. I hope this helps. Anxiety is something that we put up on a shelf and occasionally we need to place it back. Stay strong and confident. We will get better one week at a time. Success should not be measured in moments or days but weeks. When you do this, you will see that you are improving.
Thank you Luis for this post. I am so happy for you that you were able to give the anxious sensations space and enjoy your family outing.
This is exactly what I am struggling with every day! I find it hard to understand and do what is meant by “float with it”. I dont have any concept of “HOW” to do this. Images dont really help me. I dont think in pictures so I need a different type of explanation that doesnt require using imagery. I just wish someone could tell me in words exactly what to do. What is floating and how do you do it?
Great job Paul. This extension of last week’s podcast was very helpful for me. It can be so tiring dealing with setback. You helped remind me to not dwell on the dips, but appreciate the progress I have made. It’s all to easy too get bogged down and think all is lost. Thanks for everything you do Paul. Keep up the important work you are doing.
Great podcast Paul!
Luis,,
Thanks for posting about Claire Weekes and your success. I just recently purchased her book, and can’t wait to read it and hopefully learn some great tools to help me overcome my anxiety as well. I’ve been suffering with this for over 10 years, and I am SO ready to live a full life!
You always like fresh ideas. Have you ever thought of doing live Periscopes? Perhaps you have already done them or considered this. I think you would get a massive on-line following, just like here. The difference would be that you could answer spontaneous questions during a live format.
Hey Michael, thanks for the tip. I have never heard of this app but it sounds promising!
Luis,
I think mac and cheese is my new antidote!
i love the simplicity in your appreciation – watching a football game while feeding your son mac and cheese. it doesn’t get any better than that!
Do you have any suggestions for getting at the root cause of anxiety? Ive been to so many therapists and none of them have been able to tell me!
Its really frustrating and some of them just say stop caring about the cause of it. But I feel like if I can find the root cause I can eliminate it and get better quickly. Which is tough when there is no obvious cause like trauma….
I lingered, haha
Rob, I am currently reading “The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook” by Edmund J. Bourne, and there’s a chapter that explains the causes of anxiety. However, it is true (and the books makes that clear) that knowing the causes of your anxiety is not necessary to get better.
Margaret, I too had a hard time understanding about floating, but now I think I’ve got it. What I do is I let myself experience the physical sensations and thoughts I have when I am anxious. Instead of trying to distract myself by doing something or thinking about something else, I think about what I am feeling, without adding more stress. For example, when I’m anxious, I experience a horrible pressure on my chest, and adrenaline going through my body, and I say: hey, there´s the pressure and the adrenaline, they feel awful, but they are normal, because my body is experiencing anxiety, and they are not dangerous; or: hey, I have this horrible thought, but I am anxious, therefore that thought is not true, eventhough it may feel that way. Then I try to keep on with my daily activities, always trying to accept those sensations and thoughts and not fighting or avoiding them. It is hard and scary but completely possible.
Best of luck!
I hung on. That’s like watching the ending credits on a Pixar movie so that you can catch the out takes they slip in. Nice surprise Paul!
Thanks for sticking around Frankie!
I was there at the end too. Thanks so much, Paul…..😊
I was trying to donate but I can not remember my password what do I do?