Most anxiety sufferers don’t go around shaking and biting their nails, however that doesn’t mean that most of us don’t spend a good amount of energy on perfecting and using what I like to call a mask of tranquility.
Outwardly I think we would all like to be seen as confident, steady people that project all the attractive personality traits most people admire. But when you find yourself nervous a good deal of the time these traits don’t come easily and have to be worked on.
Wearing a mask of tranquility is what all of us do from time to time. While at work, with the family, and when visiting with friends are all times when we have to, or at least feel we have to, portray a steady exterior unshaken by constant waves of panic.
The difficult part of wearing this mask is that you may sometimes feel like you’re not being yourself, or worst yet like you can’t be yourself. Afraid to make sudden movements or think certain thoughts you might become arrested with fear and anxiety.
I’ve had this feeling several times. Smiling away on the outside while feeling alone and isolated on the inside. Unfortunately wearing the mask is part of the serious social games we play as human beings. Most people have to wear one mask or the other depending on the situation, it’s just that our mask weighs a ton.
And despite the fact that we have to endure this we should not let it deter us from living full lives. Nor should it make you feel bad about yourself or your inability to show how you really feel sometimes.
Just today a co-worker said to me, “Paul I just love how calm you always are”, and in my mind I thought, “only if you knew”. This is no discredit to my co-worker. She was just pointing out how lovely my mask looks.
Point is, don’t feel bad for having to appear “normal” when you don’t feel normal. Don’t be impressed by your feelings of disconnectedness, or sheer fear. Simply note that most times we can’t wear our hearts on our sleeves and this is precisely why it’s critical that anxiety sufferers find outlets for our overflowing “glass cages of emotion”.
All jokes aside, because we all have to partake in the mask wearing, be sure to make time for yourself and to express yourself in a creative and constructive manner. Whether it’s a hobby, talking to a confidant, exercising vigorously or whatever outlet you can imagine don’t allow things to build up too much.
Maybe you’re frustrated with criticism about your anxiety, painful shyness, or some other issue. But remember not to suffer in silence as is often said. Do something to relieve the stress of being so anxious, do things to make that mask a bit lighter.
Fantastic post – something else to try is taking the mask off, telling people – maybe just a few trusted people at first, but there’s something very liberating about putting it out there. I find that it took my years to start telling more people, but once I did, I was shocked by the numbers who said, “me too” & were keeping it to themselves.