This week's guest post was written by C, a member of the AG community. She wrote this as a forum post, but I felt that it was too good to keep hidden in the forum. What this post reveals is that recovery is a process and not simply a single insight or idea. It illustrates the many facets of recovery in a clear and meaningful way. I hope it provides you with a new or different perspective. - Paul Dooley 'No one has ever analyzed or battled their way to recovery.' Well, no, probably not but neither have I known anyone glide serenely to
How Details Lead to Solutions
When anxiety becomes a problem it's hard to cultivate solutions. Instead, you're more likely to focus on the problem itself, or maybe even uncovering some quick way of making it all stop, which makes sense. Yet, as natural as this instinct is, what happens when this quick solution doesn't materialize? In my experience, people usually become frustrated with their inability to overcome this major life issue. That's why when you feel stuck with anxiety it is critical that you go back to the beginning and figure out the most basic details of your
How to Defeat Persistent Anxiety
When you're faced with relapse or persistent anxiety part of you might feel defeated. Like no matter what you do you just can't seem to get the upper hand against your anxiety. I certainly felt that way when I had a few good days in a row followed by a return of anxious thoughts or symptoms. In my view, it is okay to acknowledge how you feel in those dark, lonely moments. Yet, it can be dangerous to linger too long on those kinds of negative thoughts. Dangerous in that anxiety tends to build on itself and the more you stand still and ponder how
How to Avoid the Gloom of Anxiety
At the peak of my anxiety I was miserable. I missed out on all kinds of fun because of it. But at the time it was hard to not feel that way. Anxiety always seemed busy producing a never-ending lineup of frightening symptoms for me to contend with. It started with palpitations, then stomach problems, then out of control worry. And every time I mastered one symptom a brand new one would sprout up in its place. What made things worse is that I didn't spend my time trying to get better. I just dove deeper into my little self-created hell. In fact,
The One Simple Way to Silence Your Anxious Mind
Having random thoughts is normal. You could be brushing your teeth and start thinking about whether or not you locked your car or about what you did with those TPS reports at work. It happens to all of us. But what happens when you experience high anxiety along with random thoughts? The short answer is that your mind will often wander into a very negative space. You might start thinking about the past, the future, or about all the ways that anxiety might ruin your life. Anxiety can provide a never ending stream of negative outcomes. And, of
3 Genius Fixes For Internalized Anxiety
Today I want to introduce you to a single concept. It's called externalization. In my view, learning externalization techniques can set you on a new path. One that leads far, far away from high anxiety. See, when you have really bad anxiety it's common to assume that you and your anxiety are one and the same. For example, people often say things like "I'm such an anxious person." If this is the narrative that you have adopted then over time it becomes hard to tell where you start and where anxiety ends. It makes anxiety feel embedded. This is
How I Tamed the Anxiety Beast
I don’t remember struggling with anxiety growing up. Looking back, there are few signs and moments that pointed towards what would later grow into a beast. I was social without hesitation, very outgoing, and not afraid of new places or speaking up in public. I don’t remember even knowing what the words panic attack meant. The Beast Is Born Flash forward to college. The anxiety beast found its roots in my long-term highly abusive relationship. I was eighteen years old and in love with a nightmare. The domestic violence I experienced involved
The Problem With Modern Psychotherapy
Over the past 100 years clinicians and researchers have worked hard to improve what we call psychotherapy. Many of those improvements have led to standardization and improved outcomes. Nowadays, everything is "evidenced based" which is, of course, a good thing. Yet there remains a huge problem in mental health, and it isn't the hundreds of models of therapy that are now available. Rather, it's the large proportion of people delivering these interventions that suck at their job. Now, to be fair, there are many talented people providing mental
The Power of Anxious Thinking
If there's one thing that anxious people need, it's constant reminding. This isn't because they don't understand what's happening to them, rather it's because anxiety is distracting. Feelings of anxiety, physical symptoms, and worry take attention away from solutions and keep you focused on potential danger instead. Anxiety is good at that, but it's not exactly helpful to stay problem focused, right? That's why this week I want to review a topic that is near and dear to my heart: Anxious thinking. I've discussed this issue several times
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